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Do you remember those awkward days at school during exams:

- when a bright student tells the invigilator that question 4 has a problem, but you have already answered it?

- when a fellow student asks for graph paper, but you are finished and did not see anywhere where it was required?

- when the invigilator says "skip question 6, we will rectify it later", but it was the question you enjoyed most when answering?

- When you see people busy using rulers and protractors and you are wondering what is going on?

- When you hear your friends arguing after the exam whether the answer to question 5 was 35.5% or 36% and your answer was Africa?
 

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Do you remember those awkward days at school during exams:

- when a bright student tells the invigilator that question 4 has a problem, but you have already answered it?

- when a fellow student asks for graph paper, but you are finished and did not see anywhere where it was required?

- when the invigilator says "skip question 6, we will rectify it later", but it was the question you enjoyed most when answering?

- When you see people busy using rulers and protractors and you are wondering what is going on?

- When you hear your friends arguing after the exam whether the answer to question 5 was 35.5% or 36% and your answer was Africa?
LOL!!

Talk about a trip down memory lane...

::bigthumb:
 

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An elderly couple decides to marry, and she has a heart condition that he is unaware of. As they prepare for their wedding night, getting into bed, she says, "George, I have something to tell you--I have acute angina." George crawled into bed and replied, "I'm glad to know that, because the rest of you is UGLY!"
 

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Eleven Minutes Can Be Forever
A Police Officer was patrolling late at night off the main highway.
At nearly midnight, he sees a couple in a car, in Lovers' Lane, with the interior
light brightly glowing. He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man
behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine.
He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails.
Puzzled by this surprising situation, the Officer walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window.
The young man lowers his window. "Uh, yes, Officer?"
The trooper asks: "What are you doing?"
The young man says: "Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine."
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the Officer says: "And, her, what is she doing?"
The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails."
Now, the trooper is totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in Lover's Lane and nothing obscene is happening!
The trooper asks: "What's your age, young man?"
The young man says: "I'm 22, sir."
The trooper asks: "And her, what's her age?"
The young man looks at his watch and replies: "She'll be 18 in 11 minutes."

Big John
 

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A policeman pulls over an old man in a pickup truck because the bed of his truck is full of ducks. The officer says, “Sir, it is unacceptable to have this flock of ducks downtown, take them to the Zoo this instant!”

The old man confirms that he will and drives off. The next day the officer sees the same man in the same truck still full of ducks. Only this time all the ducks are wearing sunglasses. The officer pulls him over again and yells, “I told you to take these ducks to the Zoo!”

The old man replies, “I did! But now the little buggers want to go to the beach!”

Big John
 

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It's early morning, and you find yourself in the bathroom and you realize you've just put toothpaste on your razor.

The question is... Were you getting ready to brush your face, or shave your teeth?
 

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It's early morning, and you find yourself in the bathroom and you realize you've just put toothpaste on your razor.

The question is... Were you getting ready to brush your face, or shave your teeth?
Either way......it was gonna hurt!!!!:couto:
 

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A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.

“You aren’t good in bed either!” he shouted and stormed off to work.

By mid-morning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home.

After many rings, his wife picked up the phone.

“What took you so long to answer?”

“I was in bed.”

“What were you doing in bed this late?”

“Getting a second opinion.”
 

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man received the following text from his neighbor:
“I am so sorry Charlie. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.”
The man, anguished and betrayed, immediately went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.
A few moments later, a second text came in: “Damn autocorrect. I meant ‘WiFi’ not ‘wife’.”

#yes it's a downloaded joke :)
 

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A little boy runs to his mother crying while holding his finger.

She goes smooch smooch smooch on the finger. "There, I kissed it all better. Now tell me what happened."

He says "my finger went through the toilet paper."
 

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Six retired Italian Floridian fellows In Naples, were playing poker in the condo
clubhouse when Guido loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table.
Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing,but standing up. At the end of the game, Giovanni looks around and asks,
"So, who's gonna'tell his wife?" They cut the cards. Pasquale picks the low card and has to carry the news.They tell him to be discreet,
be gentle, don't make a bad situation any word
"Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me!" So, Pasquale goes over to the Guido's condo and knocks on the door
The wife answers through the door and asks what he wants?
Pasquale declares: "Your husband just lost $500 in a poker game and is afraid to come home…..
Tell him to drop dead!" yells the wife.
"I'll go tell him." says Pasquale.

Big John
 

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A geek with no game is having a hard time picking up chicks, so his ladies-man buddy takes him to a club in Miami where he tells him that he will score for sure. He enters the bar, picks out a chick, and begins to barrage her with pick up lines that he acquired from his friend. The lady ignores him for a while but finally gives in.

She says "Fine, we can go back to my place, but I'll tell you now - I'm on my menstrual cycle."

The geek looks at her and says "No problem. I'll follow you on my Moped."
 

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A cowboy walks into a bar and sits next to a gorgeous woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch. The woman notices this and this conversation ensues:

Woman: "Is your date running late?"
Cowboy: "No, I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.."
W: "Intriguing, A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
C: "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."
W: "Oh really.. Well what's it telling you now?"
C: "It says you're not wearing any panties."
W: "LOLOL Well it must be broken because I AM wearing panties!"

The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Ahhh.. Damn thing's an hour fast."
 

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A little old lady shaking violently as she walks in to the pharmacy asks the salesperson "do you sell vibrators". Surprised by the request, the sales person says yes! The little old lady says: "Well, how do you turn the damn things off!"
 

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During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!"

This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do!

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got."

The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"

This is called "Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.

This is called "Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!

The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month."

This is called "Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"

This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.

This is called "Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks!

So who are the real robbers here?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I537 using Tapatalk
 

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Yes, it's one of those rarely seen flying cats. :biggrinjester:

(Goose hit by lightening)
 
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