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#1 Old 06-18-2007, 10:29 AM
arfur
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Official Joke Thread (submerged)

RETIREMENT BONUS

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body.

The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles."

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received.

But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back.

Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"


The old Chief calmly replied, " Vietnam ."


Don't Hassle the HOFF

Arf - expert in and
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#2 Old 06-18-2007, 10:32 AM
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HAHAHA thats pretty clever
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#3 Old 06-18-2007, 10:40 AM
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#4 Old 06-18-2007, 10:45 AM
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LMAO.....
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#5 Old 06-18-2007, 10:57 AM
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HAHAHAHA Leave it to us enlisted to work the system better than the officers! PAY UP SUCKA

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#6 Old 06-18-2007, 11:32 AM
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good one arf!

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#7 Old 06-18-2007, 11:42 AM
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That was great!!! Short funny answer. Love those!!
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#8 Old 06-18-2007, 11:43 AM
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#9 Old 06-19-2007, 01:19 AM
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Hmmm, the joke says "any two points IN his body"
How about from the esophagus to the anus?
I think the intestines are 30' alone

Of course, you would have to first remove them and lay them out in a straight line.
Sorry, I'm a horror fan, and just finished watching "Hostel"

Last edited by jasonface; 06-19-2007 at 01:22 AM.
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#10 Old 06-19-2007, 01:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jasonface View Post
Hmmm, the joke says "any two points IN his body"
How about from the esophagus to the anus?
I think the intestines are 30' alone

Of course, you would have to first remove them and lay them out in a straight line.
Sorry, I'm a horror fan, and just finished watching "Hostel"
i cant think of anyone who would be willing to do that

plus with them things in 'Nam...i can only imagine the millions he would have just made
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